Showered With Wisdom
by Marit Heidbreder
Years ago, as a young newlywed, I wasn’t really sure how to be a good spouse, and I eagerly sought more wisdom than I currently possessed on the topic. To that end, I purchased the book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas at a large mall’s Christian bookstore. While browsing some other stores within the mall, I surprisingly realized that I no longer had the small bag with my newly purchased book. As I retraced my steps, I finally found the store in which I had accidentally mislaid my small plastic bookstore bag. The whole time I searched for my missing book, I was wondering if whoever found it might keep it for themselves rather than turn it in to the lost and found. But I’ll always remember the clerk’s response when I inquired about my missing book. “Oh yes!! We have that right here for you!” she exclaimed while she shoved the small bag my direction. “NO ONE wants to read that book!” I guess I could see what she meant as the tag line read, “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?”
This anecdote recently came to my mind a few weeks ago as I had the joy of attending a bridal shower for my oldest son’s fiancée. Some of the following wisdom was shared by her family and friends during the event:
Don’t go to bed angry. Ephesians 4:26
Look for the humor in daily life together. Proverbs 17:22
In humility, put your spouse’s preferences above your own. Philippians 2:3-4
Don’t “should” your spouse, but show them your love and respect. Ephesians 5:33
Be slow to anger and don’t keep reminding your spouse of their past failures. 1 Corinthians 13:5
Be full of kindness and forgive easily, as God forgives you. Ephesians 4:32
Love each other well, as love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8
Keep an attitude of thankfulness regardless of your circumstances, stay hopeful, be patient with one another, and make a habit of praying together. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, Romans 12:12
The point was made that marriage is not always an easy road, and relying on God’s Word and truth would be critical to weathering life’s storms. Biblical marriage is one of God’s primary tools to help us become more Christ-like and holy, as further explained in the book Sacred Marriage. In due course, as Christian couples focus on their spiritual maturity through the sanctification process and character growth, they uncover a deeper, more profound happiness than their worldly counterparts, who tend to make fulfilling their own personal desires the goal of their marriage. The refining process of our character can be painful and difficult, yet it is a worthwhile pursuit as we desire to reflect Jesus more than ourselves.
As someone who has been married for over two decades, I can honestly say that I am still being refined as a spouse. The Biblical advice that was shared at the bridal shower is still applicable to me, as I haven’t perfected living it out, as my husband can attest. But I have certainly grown a lot since my days as a newlywed, and I am grateful that God is not finished with me yet!
I am so thankful for the blessing of Biblical marriage and the gift that it has been in my life to bring great joy and help me grow closer to Jesus. I’m thrilled for my son and his future wife as they prepare to enter this sacred covenant together as well! At a time when marriage rates among young adults are at historic lows, it warms my heart to see couples who are actively pursuing this sacred covenant!
May we all continue to pursue a deeper relationship with Jesus so we can reflect Him better through our marriages and families to a world that desperately needs His love and truth.